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Thursday, March 27th, 2003

Subject:i hate school
Time:3:05 pm.
Music:q and not u- nine things.
ive seriously studied for the last 5 hours . you can die from that, right?

i need to have some serious fun this weekend
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2003

Subject:just got home
Time:12:30 am.
Music:binary star.
i went out to diner with my cousins tonight. ive been really down lately. the whole war and stuff. i am just really upset about the actions of our presendent. and im also really mad how alot of people dot really understand whats going on and the media doesnt really help with giving a really one sided view of everthing.

i have to work at 630 in the morning. hopefully it will be all sunny again tomarrow like it was today.
oh yeah and i talked to chars mom and i think that itll be cool because she is only inviting a few people and its going to be at joes crab shack so it wont be too long.
i have some more beer to drink with my cousins before i go to sleep
bye.
peace
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Monday, March 17th, 2003

Subject:help me please
Time:11:51 pm.
i need advice fast.
so char's mom called me tonight at like 10. and she told me that she was planning a suprise party for her(her birthday is on the 26th). and she wanted to know if i would go. she said she had already called a bunch of people and she was trying to set a date where all of her close friends could go.
now heres the problem.
i know char veryveryvery well probably closer than anyone else and delenently like 20 times closer than her mom.
but when char turned 16 her mom threw her a suprise birthday party.
char has told me on a few occasions that this was the absolute worst day of her life. she just hates having to entertain people. and last time her mom invited all these people that she kew along with school friends and family and church friends and family friends. and char had to go around and talk to everyone. i can understand why she wouldnt be happy. im not sure if her mom knows this .
plus she has finals all week and is really stressed and tired from all that..and her mom wants to have it this weekend.
i dont know if i should go along with the suprise thing or if i should tell her.
i can totaly picture her calling up her mom and being real mad and then calling everyone she knows and telling them there is no party.
and i think char would be mad at me if i didnt tell her .
id be pissed.
but i dont know if its my place to say anything.


pleaseplease leave me some suggestions
i really dont know what to do and im kinda stressed
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:im tired
Time:10:21 am.
i didnt sleep too much last night
maybee two hours and it was this morning when it was light outside
im tired of being hassled by my father for money that i was supposed to give him
im tired of work
it doesnt pay well and i have to be there in 35 min
im tired of school
i already fucked up in two classes and i have to go today to go drop them
im tired of my friends
so much time spent toward relationships that they couldnt give a fuck about.
im tired of being broke
and wearing the same cloths and not being able to buy shit or go to shows when i want.
im tired of being depressed whennever i watch the news


i want to start changing
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Saturday, March 15th, 2003

Subject:i hate when it rains because in puddles i encounter the sky
Time:10:28 am.
Music:illogic.
last night was fun. drank alot. found new places that i never want to go to again.
gemma is real cool. i hope she had a little fun.
today is her birthday so i think ill call her on her break
aight im off to work.
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Friday, March 14th, 2003

Subject:is a good day
Time:4:19 pm.
i thought it was going to be all shitty and cloudy but the sun came ou around noon and it was a nice warm day
i got the new slightly stoopid cd..is good(not as good as athe other cds but still good) im all super excited to see them at the house of blues on tues. im goin with my cousin ryan and ernie and chris and his wife. well drink some beers and have alot of fun. hopefully there will be no trouble like last time but ernie and ryan will be there if there is.
i went to the mall and got some more hair gel and drooled over video games that i need to buy. it was fun.
tonight im taking jemma out for her birthday. its tomarrow and she turns 21 so were going for drinks at midnight. and alisha and carla are having a party tonight so i might stop by there first. i think im going to wash my car right now .
later
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Thursday, March 13th, 2003

Time:1:21 pm.
Music:q and not u.
iim not doing good this semester at school. i just cant bring myself to study and do homework and o to class everyday . i dont know whats wrong with me.
i saw char again last night and she might come by in a little while.
i havent really talked about her on my journal but me and her have been dating for about a year , minus the summer and the last month. we were pretty serious and shes the only girl that i have ever felt really compatible with. i think shes one of the only people who have ever really understood me, and i dont think anyone but me understands her. but weve had alot of drama and i think that this whole journal thing was to get away from her. i know that sounds terrible. i just dont know how to deal with things like this. but i think that we became too close and clingy and i dont want a relationship like that . i found myself in positions where i had to compromise too much of myself and she had to do the same. and i dont really see that as a good thing. like maybee in a few years or something i will get all serious and compromise and get a lame title of bf/gf but i dont see that in the near future. i have too much to learn about myself.
and lauren just got a lj account but i didnt tell her that i have one.
well i have to finish my reading for class
peace,
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, March 10th, 2003

Time:10:15 am.
Mood: confused.
Music:sonic youth.
i just woke up.
its a perfect day to be at the beach.
i have to be at work in 44 min.
i went to bed really late because char came over.
i think that i want her around more .
i miss her.
i think that i love her still.
im supposed to go to alishas tonight after school.
i dont know what to do.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 9th, 2003

Subject:so i havent posted all weekend
Time:1:42 pm.
Music:built to spill.
ive been pretty busy. worked yesterday and i have to work today at 3. last night i went to el torito with my cousin ryan and my friend mark. it was alot of fun. we ate and drank taquila. then me and my cousin went to savon and saw model cars so we bought some and we built them on my balcony all night , i didnt go to sleep till 6. mines a 1960 for starliner, ryans was a chevy with hydrolics.
on thursday alisha cut my hair. i was going grow it out but i couldnt stand it anymore. now i have a mohawk. its pretty rad and my mom doesnt like it and gives me a dirty look everytime she sees me.
thursday night i stayed at alishas and we went to the beach in the morning and she made breakfast.
i missed the firetheft show on fri and i missed a bunch of good shows yesterday. tonight pretty girls make graves is playing but i think its sold out . on tues im going to see matt embree play with lori. i havent seen her in a while i miss her. i want to start hanging out with her again.
im hungry.byee
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003

Time:9:34 am.
Mood:fine.
Music:pearl jam.
i have this new weird habbit of waking up super early. its alot better than my old habit of waking up at noon so im not complaining too much. friday the fire theft is playing i can wait. but i dont have any money so im not sure how im going to go. i might get a paycheck on fri but im not 100 percent sure. i worked at a different store alot last week and i havent gotten paid for it yet because theyre on a different pay cycle.
and my old friend from high school, david krudolf is coming up from sandiego on friday ..itll be cool to hang out with him, maybee hell wnat to go see the fire theft.
i have to work today at 12 till 5 and then class at 5, i guess ill either have to leave early or miss class.
i think im going to alisha's tonight. her roomate is out of town

i dont know if im going to be able to afford to go to coachella its like 140 dolars for both days. if i cant go ill just go to the atmosphere/blue print show on the 26th...thatll be a good show.
aight , i have to read for my politics class, bye
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 5th, 2003

Time:6:49 pm.
Music:the gloria record.
im not catholic but i gave up greasy food for lent
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:its nice and warm
Time:12:08 pm.
Mood: confused.
Music:illogic- hate in a puddle.
i dont really feel like updating my journal. but thers some things about last night i need to put down. my relationship with lauren has changed abunch and i dont know if i want to talk to her any more. and alisha is acting weird and warning me about her behavior issues. why do i get mixed up with people that i cant relate to. i guess im attracted to drama or something. i just want to have a relationship with soimeone who is on the same level as me. i really need some sort of connection. i miss char.
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Monday, March 3rd, 2003

Subject:hardwood floors are a bitch
Time:3:03 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:atmosphere.
my friend marisa just told me a funny story:
when she was twelve and lived at home she was watching tv with her little sister late at night. and her parents had already went to bed and their room was right above the living room where they were. and they heard a thud and then a loud vibrating on the hardwood floor above them. hahahahah that would have been the worst thing in the world to hear.
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:babaji is accros the street
Time:11:29 am.
Mood: amused.
Music:yeah yeah yeahs.
i just got home from visiting my neighbor marisa at work. shes cool and told me about an indian spirit guy that moves from body to body and is in a cave somewhere in an 18 year olds body. i think the homeless guy thats chillin across the street from my house looks like a babaji. im gonna look it up right now on the internet and see what i can find.
i decided that i want to learn to read brail.i just think it would be fun to collect books in brail. and maybee take one and read at the beach with my eyes closed. that would be an amazing feeling.
yesterday i went to my grandmas house for her birthday..ate enchaladas...hung out with my cousins. then i went out to fullerton and saw lauren. shes real fun.
we sat and watched trains go by at the station . i smashed a penny and gave it to her. its her day off i told her to call me in the morning and come over and id make her breakfast. but she hasnt called and i doubt she will. she seems to have alot of stuff going on. thats cool i just wish i could see her more.
my dad is home right now he just asked me about the money i was supposed to give him for car insurance. but i dont have any money. i havent been working alot and i barely paid for my phone bill and some books i needed for my lit class. im really sick of being broke and living with my parents. but i really cant work alot right now with school and everything and i kind of like living at home right now..my parents are pretty cool and i will probably move out soon and ill always look back and miss it so i want it to last a while longer
enough rambling for right now im going to make some food
bye
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, March 1st, 2003

Subject:today was a good day ..i didnt even have to use my AK.....
Time:2:29 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:mineral-if i could.
spent the night at alishas last night. im really starting to like her. i spent pretty much the whole day whith her, after work i went over and we took a long nap. then we went out to get mexican food. then we went to the beach at night to meet my cousin for her birthday. all of her friends were there it was pretty cool. i missed the bloodbrothers/milemarker show. tonight bane is playing but i dont have any money so i probably wont go. i woke up real late this morning and went over to work and drank coffee with this old guy dale and talked about polotics and life. its such a nice day today i want to go to the beach right now........shit i guess not. work just called and martha is throwing up and cant work any more. i guess ill be at work all day.
cya
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, February 27th, 2003

Subject:rafiki is the best
Time:3:43 pm.
im watching the lion king with my brother and eating pizza. im such a nerd. its awsome.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:1:41 pm.
Mood: blah.
Music:aesop rock.
i woke up at 5:30 this morning and i still havent done anything. i need to stop playing video games, seriously. i just dont feel motivated at all
i have so much reading to do for class tonight. i should really start working on it. but i need to eat first.
I have only been working two or three days a week, and it seems like i have too much time on my hands. and it doesnt help that i only go to class half of the time. i need to find a new job or a hobby or someone new thatll take up all of my thoughts so i dont have to sit around bored. i just want to be excited about something. my friends are cool and the girl i am seeing is great but i think i need someone new, maybee thats why i spend hours searching lj for people i like. i think i just need to know that im not the only one that feels like this.
and mr rogers died..that sucks man, i remember when i was little i would watch him everyday.
i think i should start surfing again..that would probably make me feel better. its funny that i used live 30 min away from the beach and i would surf 4 times a week. now i live 2 blocks away and i barely go.it just used to be such an adventure , me and a couple friends would pile the boards on my car and we would drive down beach blvd and spend all day just fucking around.
and coachella is only 2 months away..i need to get some money. its like 150 dollars for both days. and im soo broke. but i have to go sonic youth is playing and queens and aesop rock and murs and redhot chillepeppers its going to be soo fun.
my brother just got home
alright ineed to go make some food
peace
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 26th, 2003

Subject:woke up early ....drank some coffee
Time:10:39 am.
Mood:accomplished.
Music:jawbreaker-unfun.
i have to go to work in about an hour. i added a couple people to my friends list and i hope they add me back.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Time:12:13 am.
Mood: happy.
i dont think im going to explain everything thats been going on, but i think i have everything figured out now. I think i just need to find a better balance of everything in my life and i need to enjoy myself more. tonight was fun, i went to alisha's house and drank some beer with russel and karla. i have to work tomarrow but i think it'll be fine.
I want to call lauren but ithink its too late, shes probbly asleep. She was kinda upset yesterday about some shit she has going on, i really hope she feels better. I care about her alot and i want to see her more, butits hard because she lives all the way out in anaheim hills.
i think this week will be alot better than last.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, February 25th, 2003

Subject:its raining
Time:1:18 am.
Mood: tired.
Music:the rain falling on my roof.
so much has been going on in my life. i really dont want to talk about it, and i dont really want to think about it anymore.maybee ill write about it tomarrow
i had a good night though, i saw my neighbor's band play at dipiazza's , they are so awsome. no work tomarrow just school at 5. i think im going to wake up late and play some music.
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for Do you still hate me?.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.